Category Archives: Moss Adventures

Peeps Picnic — 2012


Hi it’s me, Bernard.  I’m in my new role serving as part of the advance team for this year’s Peep Picnic.  I’m here because, as you may have read on our host’s Facebook page — Moss and Stone Gardens – Where Moss Rocks!, there was a Peep sighting prior to the after Easter pilgrimage.  This was what was reported:

….this just in… the first Peep sighting at The Moss Farm this year! Soon the Peeps will be gathering for their annual Spring Revival. The day after Easter marks their pilgrimage to begin building up their population again for next year. We can’t wait to see who returns and what will happen at this years Peeps Picnic!

You may notice from reading the above we downplayed the early arrival; it is safe to say we put our own spin on the sighting.

It was also reported, This morning a mossaic design was found at The Moss Farm.  It was obviously created by a very high intelligence or some mosstical power. What could this mean?  

The Learned Old Frog called for this procedural change of an advance team to be formed once the mystery of the Hop Circle showed up.

It turns out those ducks were good for something after all. In their continual effort to “impress”(suck up to) The Learned Old Frog so they could be considered a world wonder, they let the leader know what happened.  Our wise counsel immediately knew what to do.

Forming an advance team, The Learned Old Frog asked me to oversee the mission.

My two best P-men, Pake and Plywood, were the first on the scene. As reported on the Facebook page:

We can’t say for sure what the events of yesterday mean, the Peep Circle or code name, The Hop Circle, was first thought to be a close encounter of the PEEPS® kind or the  Faeries playing a little joke on the returning Peeps.

The Learned Old Frog wanted answers to this mystery before the Peeps started to arrive.

In the meantime, the White House released a statement announcing President Obama authorized a covert mission redacting an unnamed suspect and delivering them to the newly formed Peeptanamo detention camp. The unnamed suspect is believed to be involved with the mysterious appearance of a Crop Circle that formed at The Moss Farm last Tuesday night.  Quick action was taken believing it could be another Roswell.

This photo was released Friday by Wikileaks. It shows a rarely seen P-Man interviewing a resident at The Moss Farm.

If you followed the tales of the Peeps at last year’s picnic, you may recall there was a little, ahem, indiscretion between Luther and Nettie. Feel free to take a moment to re-read the accounts of last’s years picnic. When you are caught up, grab a toadstool and let me share with you what happened since we reported last.

SUMMATION FROM LAST YEARS PEEP PICNIC

Toward the end of the 2011 Peeps Picnic, Luther and Nettie, with love in their hearts and erect ears, were last seen taking matters into their own hands escaping down the falls so they could couple.  We later learned they made it to Mellow Yellow, a well known rogue coupling site.

We also learned The Learned Old Frog, originally turning a blind eye to the whole affair, later thought better of it.  He was afraid it would be viewed by others as an OK to go against the long held tradition of assigned coupling.

A FRESH START

Luther and Nettie’s punishment was no further coupling (with anyone) during their three-month stay. After this time, Nettie and Luther were brought back into the fold and were able to offer themselves for sacrifice for Easter next year.

And so the story goes, Luther was packaged up but Nettie wasn’t needed.  However, there was an interesting turn of events. Instead of being eaten, Luther was part of a package that had a hole it.  When the humans got home and realized it, they threw the Peeps in the trash. Luther decided to run for it.

It wasn’t easy getting out of the house with the dog nipping at his tail but Luther managed to get away.

Hitching a ride was easy. Being a Peep has it’s advantages to easily opening doors.

Luther spent the year traveling the globe touring of the 8 wonders of the world.  During his journey,  he hooked up with a traveling gnome, Larky and together they got into all types of shenanigans. Luther and Larky decided to do a little mosschief and come to The Moss Farm early to create the Hop Circles before the gathering.

TROUBLE AWAITS

Little did Luther and Larky know but the nature of their prank was on the radar of the the Human Government. They take these circles very seriously.

I have it on good authority the government knows who is behind crop circles. As soon as one is viewed from a space satellite, action is taken.  They took Luther into custody for fear he was really the offender who had transformed himself into a Peep.

 

Larky the gnome was horrified his friend was detained.  He immediately called The Learned One telling him of Luther’s fate, who then responded by calling in the P-Team to the rescue.

If these two parallel forces were not taking place at the same time, the Hop Circles would have been a fun welcome home to all the happy Peeps.

Learned Old Frog knew Luther had arrived early and that he brought a friend.  This is why he sent me in early in the first place.  He also knew that this was the sort of thing Luther was capable of.  What puzzled The Learned One was how it came to be that Luther returned.  He personally saw him being packaged!

At first The Learned One tried to work with the government but he was not to be believed.  As such, The Learned Old Frog had to take measures into his own hands.  This would involve a jail break.  Peeptanamo was no place for Luther.

The Learned Old Frog brought out his special peep forces known as PEEPSTERS (Peeps Everywhere Eagerly Prepared [to] Save Team [members with] Exactly [the] Right String).  There was no stopping them.

As they were making their escape, the Human SEALs (Sea, Air, and Land Teams) brought out the heavy equipment.  But the PEEPSTERS and Luther escaped!

 

The P-team, known as PEEPSTERS, took Luther to a safe house until a decision about his future was made.

In the meantime, The Learned Old Frog met with President Obama to explain that what appeared to be crop circles were really Hop Circles and that Luther was indeed the one behind their making along with his gnome pal, Larky.

So we waited and waited until we heard the decision from The Learned Old Frog and President Obama. It was all cleared up; thank goodpeepness!  The P-team and Luther will be Pardoned.

After the decision was handed down, I was able to have a quiet chat with President Obama.  I shared with him the story of Luther and Nettie and Luther’s heroic escape in the face of being wrongly accused. Mr. Obama was justly moved. He decided to not only pardon Luther and the P-team, but all the Peeps who ever coupled freely.  This historic decision, overruling the Learned Old Frog, has been dubbed the Hunger Decision.

With the pardon, these Peeps will be able to honorably return to The Moss Farm.

 

Jay Carney, White House Press secretary declined being  interviewed about the incident, which in some circles is being referred to as Peepgate.  Insiders believe Mr. Carney is not happy with President Obama’s decision to pardon the Peeps.  It is rumored Mr. Carney thinks the Peeps should be punished to the fullest extent of the law.

From our Peep perspective, sometimes the truth is hard to swallow, especially when it’s a marshmallow.

BACK ON THE FARM

All the Peeps at The Moss Farm rejoiced when they heard the news that Luther and the other Peeps had been pardoned.  Now we anxiously await the arrival of these pardoned Peeps. There seems there has been some delay though…we’re starting to get a little worried. I hope every thing is OK.

As Bernard turns in for the evening, he turns on the television.  President Obama’s decision to pardon all the Peeps who freely coupled made national news.  Still, Mr. Carney refuses to be interviewed and seems to be angry when questioned about his harshness against the Peeps.  Mr. Carney was last seen leaving the White House picking a little piece of something orange from his teeth.


 

 

Order your Moss Rocks!  online today.  Moss is grand.  Moss is green.  Moss is good. Make the most of it; order Moss Rocks! today.

By: Helen Yoest

Follow Moss and Stone Gardens – Where Moss Rocks! on Twitter @Moss_Rocks and our Facebook Like page Moss and Stone Gardens – Where Moss Rocks!

To learn more about Moss and Stone Gardens – Where Moss Rocks!, please visit our website.  Or email David Spain at info@mossandstonegardens.com.

Unless otherwise noted, all photo are credited to Ken Gergle.

Moss and Stone Gardens — Where Moss Rocks! 2011 tribute — It was a very good year

 

Order your Moss Rocks!  online today.  Moss is grand.  Moss is green.  Moss is good. Make the most of it; order Moss Rocks! today.

By: Helen Yoest

Follow Moss and Stone Gardens – Where Moss Rocks! on Twitter @Moss_Rocks and our Facebook Like page Moss and Stone Gardens – Where Moss Rocks!

To learn more about Moss and Stone Gardens – Where Moss Rocks!, please visit our website.  Or email David Spain at info@mossandstonegardens.com.

Unless otherwise noted, all photo are credited to Ken Gergle.

Moss Rocks! Rocks Valentine’s Day


Valentines Day is often represented with images of cupid wearing a diaper shooting an arrow right through the hearts of unsuspecting love.  That’s what happened one day when cupid struck his arrow through the hearts of Pet Rock and Chia Pet. But, there is a twist to this story.  Cupid, had a fashion malfunction.  He was wearing a moss diaper, which was common for his generation, but he had an accident.

Chia and Rock’s cupid was getting up in the years and he couldn’t fly as well as the other cupids on the love circuit.  When he was taking aim at Chia and Rock, he ran into a flying pet poodle wearing mama-jamas.  The collision caused spores to spew from his moss diaper.  Just as the arrows struck his love-creating hearts, spores sprinkled down, lightly dusting the young loves.

This love led hot fun in the summertime, but with a cool twist.  Both Chia and Rock had an insatiable desire to, a-hem, find a moss garden to express their love.   Moss Rocks! is the love child of this innocent love.

Fortunately for the masses, later generations of Moss Rocks! came true to seed, sorta speak, and reproduce in three sizes – Pebble, Cobble, Boulder.

To celebrate this originial sacred union, Moss and Stone Gardens — Where Moss Rocks! is offering a special and introducing  2 new products — Moss Stream & Rain Shower.

The specials include:

The Impressor
Impress your Valentine with the most unique gift available; one of our now famous Moss Rocks! in the Cobble (medium) size!

Our Moss Stream deep watering bottle is bundled with this package to round out a very Impressive gift that will be remembered year round!

INCLUDED: Toadstool (color)  Cobble (size)
Moss Stream 250ml deep watering bottle
Valentines Card with the name of the shipper
No size or color substitutions available on this special order!

The Thriller
Your Valentine will be absolutely thrilled with this package we have put together featuring the Cobble (medium) and Pebble (small) sizes of our Moss Rocks! This package is bundled with our complete watering solution, featuring the Moss Stream deep watering bottle, and the Moss Rainshower ultra fine sprayer.

INCLUDED: Toadstool (color)  Cobble (size)
Bark (color)   Pebble (size)
Moss Stream 250ml deep watering bottle
Moss Rain Shower 2oz ultra fine sprayer
Valentines Card with the name of the shipper
No size or color substitutions available on this special order!

The “OMG”
OMG!… what else can your Valentine say after receiving the full set of our Moss Rocks! and our complete watering solution all in one day!

This combination is the ultimate pleaser, and we have a guess as to what the lucky recipient of this gift will say!

INCLUDED: Toadstool (color)  Boulder (size)
Raindrop (color)   Cobble (size)
Bark (color)    Pebble (size)
Moss Stream 250ml deep watering bottle
Moss Rain Shower 2oz ultra fine sprayer
Valentines Card with the name of the shipper
No size or color substitutions available on this special order!

IMPORTANT MESSAGE

A disclaimer from Moss and Stone Gardens — Where Moss Rocks! co-owner David Spain:

The sight of moss may lead to some moss-enducing activities that we, as a company, cannot be responsible for.  Please moss responsibility.  Your secrets are safe with me —  Moss my heart and hope to die.  So party on and send your sweetie something peaty!

 

 

 

Order your Moss Rocks!  online today.  Moss is grand.  Moss is green.  Moss is good. Make the most of it; order Moss Rocks! today.

By: Helen Yoest

Follow Moss and Stone Gardens – Where Moss Rocks! on Twitter @Moss_Rocks and our Facebook Like page Moss and Stone Gardens – Where Moss Rocks!

To learn more about Moss and Stone Gardens – Where Moss Rocks!, please visit our website.  Or email David Spain at info@mossandstonegardens.com.

Unless otherwise noted, all photo are credited to Ken Gergle.

A star is born – Moss Rocks! Evergreen

It’s a little known fact, a back story if you will, that when David Spain was a wee lad, he would listen to, over and over again, Evergreen, from the soundtrack of the movie A Star is Born, featuring Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristofferson.

As David watched Ms. Streisand sing,  two things impressed him most.  The first being the vessel of some sort, some kind of thingy Ms. Streisand stares at in the beginning of the video and then softly caresses it against her ear throughout the entire song until right before the end when after, and only after,  she fondly touches Kris Kristofferson’s beard.

A soft beard next to a vessel thingy.  Like a Reeses cup when chocolate met peanut butter, David saw the perfect paring in those prepubescent years  — bring something soft to the shape of the thingy Ms. Streisand uses to give her so much pleasure and it will for sure be a hit.

This vessel next to Ms. Streisand’s  ear was the true inspiration for the rock and Kris’ beard was the true inspiration for the moss.  Moss meets rock.  The paring makes Moss Rocks!  It took many years, but today, a star is born — Moss Rocks! Yes, indeed, a star is born.

EVERGREEN Lyrics adapted to Moss Rocks!…Only one word changes —  moss replaces love, but the meaning of this song holds true.  Have you hugged your Moss Rocks! today?

Moss, soft as an easy chair
Moss, fresh as the morning air
One moss that is shared by two
I have found with you
Like a rose under the April snow
I was always certain moss would grow
Moss, ageless and evergreen
Seldom seen by two
You and I will
make each night the first
Everyday a beginning
Spirits rise and their dance is unrehearsed
They warm and excite us
‘Cause we have the brightest moss
Two lights that shine as one Morning glory and midnight sun
Time, we’ve learned to sail above
Time, won’t change the meaning of one moss
Ageless and ever evergreen

 

Photo by David Spain.

 

Order your Moss Rocks!  online today.  Moss is grand.  Moss is green.  Moss is good. Make the most of it; order Moss Rocks! today.

By: Helen Yoest

Follow Moss and Stone Gardens – Where Moss Rocks! on Twitter @Moss_Rocks and our Facebook Like page Moss and Stone Gardens – Where Moss Rocks!

To learn more about Moss and Stone Gardens – Where Moss Rocks!, please visit our website.  Or email David Spain at info@mossandstonegardens.com.

Unless otherwise noted, all photo are credited to Ken Gergle.

The Peeps Picnic at The Moss Farm – Spring 2011

UNDERSTANDING PEEP CULTURE

For 87 years, peeps have gathered at The Moss Farm for their spring revival.  The three-month event begins the day after Easter when the peep population is at it’s lowest.  Fellow peeps gather to morn the loss of their peeple, gain knowledge from their teacher, The Learned Old Frog, and to mate for purposes of rebuilding their population for next year’s sacrifices.

It took a while, but peeps have submitted to their fate of being eaten in an annual ritual during the Easter season.  In the name of goodness, each year, millions of peeps, travel bit by bit, into the bellies of children around the world.

Mostly consumed by kids, however, some adults will sneak into the closet for a taste of goodness only found in a peep.

Most children perform the sacrifice the same; starting with one ear, they gnaw it off a the base of the scalp.   Satisfied, the child goes to the other ear.  Some kids like to eat the head with the ears still attached.  If the peep had a say in how it was to be eaten, they would unanimously tell you, this is their preferred method of being consumed.

Bred to die, peeps can accept this annual sacrifice; but the sound of children groaning pleasurably at the taste of their sweet peep marshmallow life blood, is too much to bear.  At least, The Learned Old Frog will tell them, children rarely begin eating peeps from the bottom.  When kids begin with the ears, this allows for some dignity, at least.  Starting at the bottom would be too much for a peep to bare.


For a period of time, many peeps were not happy with their station in life and they raised up their little arms in the air in protest to this annual sacrifice.  Their voices largely went unheard.  In fact, many will tell you, but The Learned Old Frog denies, people punished peeps for their uprising by dressing them in human-like outfits — party dresses, bunny decoys, even as fairy princesses — a practice males found to be particularly undesirable.  Peeps prefer being nude; after all, they were born that way.

As the years passed, peeps once again began to acquiesced.  This was done, in part, due to the sage guidance from The Learned Old Frog.

The Learned Old Frog works with many of the world wonders.  Along with peeps, he also advises the gnomes.  So today, at the kick off of the three-month-long event, The Learned Old Frog was tired.  You see, Easter was late this year and the weather was warm.  Once the weather warms, gnomes like to travel.  As such, The Learned Old Frog was tired from working overtime.

All the peeps that were not chosen for this year’s sacrifice, made the long journey to The Moss Farm.  Thousands gathered and each will have an opportunity to speak with The Learned Old Frog.  This (along with the mating) is much anticipated.

Because of the current economy, the numbers of peeps returning this year are low.  A bargain compared to chocolate, more peeps were sacrificed this year than in the last two years combined.  Much work will be needed this year for peep repopulation, ensuring enough peeps for next year’s sacrifices.

 

 

 

 

 

Peep gestation period is a mere 3 days.  Given this, negative peep population growth is never at issue.  Even if the economy continues to lag, resulting in a peep high demand, there will always be enough peeps to satisfy the children during the Easter season.

AT THE GATHERING PLACE

Ada, was the first to meet with The Learned Old Frog.  She arrived early, since she didn’t have far to travel.  When she met The Learned Old Frog along the water’s edge, she was concerned.  He did not look well.  Then she remembered how tired he must be, knowing the gnomes began their travel season and they can be so inconsiderate of other world wonder’s needs.  Often, the gnomes will work and worry The Learned Old Frog beyond an acceptable amount.

Typically, each peep meets alone with The Learned Old Frog to receive guidance, including who they will mate with during the event.  Peeps are not monogynous.  Even still, they are not allow to choose their own mates.  The Learned Old Frog chooses for them.  He personally likes to introduce mating peeps, to thank them for their service, and to discuss the terms of the mating.

Non peeps are not privy to know how peeps mate.  It is believed by many, they are just born. It’s best to protect their mating rites for fear other world wonders would want to interfere.  At least, from what most people understand, they do nothing kinky as compared to those rascally gnomes.  Still, outsiders are best to believe peeps are just born.

The number of mates that are chosen depend on how much the population needs rebuilding.

During the journey, many speculated on the number pairings there will be.  Most consider it a good year, if they are able to mate 6 times or more.  Of course there are always peeps wishing for at least 12 pairings.  There are also a few who wish to mate with a peep they met along the journey’s path.  This is where hard feelings come to play. Inevitably, someone’s feelings will be hurt.  The same ole love story, you met a peep, life is short, let’s live for today.  But, this is considered bad form in peep morals.

THOSE DUCKS ARE BACK!

After each peep meets with The Learned Old Frog, they head to the watering hole for a cleansing.  As they gather there, they realize those dang ducks crashed their revival — again.  At first there are a couple of pink ducks, then more begin to arrive.

They did this last year too.  Those ducks have issues.  Always trying to gain the respect of The Learned Old Frog as world wonders.  They tend to copy peeps in hopes of being noticed.  They even offer themselves as a sacrifice to kids during the Easter season.  Hump, they aren’t even original.  Even the kids aren’t interested.  Seriously, what’s up with the umbrella in a shade garden?  There they go acting all uppity.  Just look at them, they act as if they own the watering hole.

That lone purple one is trouble.  Last year, when the peeps were entering the water to get their cleansing, he heckled Eli about his little ears.  Thankfully, Eli was sacrificed so as not to endure this kind of behavior again.

Ducks are interesting.  They all start out pink and turn purple then blue when they’ve gone completely bad.  While they are in the purple stage, they are annoying, but not dangerous, like they are when they are blue.

In the meantime, Luther is the first to jump in the cooling, cleansing water at The Moss Farm, followed by Nettie.  Even though each pairing was announced by The Learned Old Frog, and Luther and Nettie were not paired together, it was obvious to everyone, they had an eye for each other.  They were starting to cause some concern from the elder peeps with their behaviors toward each other.

Every year, there are a few renegade peeps wanting to do their own thing.

Noticing their coziness as Luther cajoles Nettie into the water with his playful way, Gladys goes to the water’s edge to make sure there are no casualties down the waterfall.

It is well known, peeps that take matters into their own hands will escape down the falls and couple in Mellow Yellow.  Sadly, many a peep was conceived that way.

Gladys has held this role for years, as did her mother before her.  Situating herself in a decent spotting perch, she hopes nothing bad happens on her watch.  She is lightly humming a tune thinking about her 9 pairings — yes 9!  She can hardly contain her excitement when Luther takes the plunge.  Drats!  “Why does this have to happen to me,” Gladys shouts.   Nettie begins to swim towards the waterfall so she can be with Luther.  No doubt, they are on their way to Mellow Yellow for a tryst.

Gladys cannot believe her eyes.  This is not a good sign.  The very first to cleanse themselves, escape.  How many more will follow?

When this happened lasted year, three others followed suit.

Now she’s in trouble, The Learned Old Frog perks up from the commotion.  He knows full well what happened.  Those peeps!  Every year’s the same.

As The Learned Old Frog reflects on what just happen, he decides to do nothing.  After all, peeps will be peeps.

Landscape design by David Spain.  Photos by Ken Gergle.

By: Helen  Yoest

Follow Moss and Stone Gardens – Where Moss Rocks! on Twitter @Moss_Rocks and our Facebook Like page Moss and Stone Gardens – Where Moss Rocks!

To learn more about Moss and Stone Gardens – Where Moss Rocks!, please visit our website.  Or email David Spain at info@mossandstonegardens.com.

Unless otherwise noted, all photos are credited to Ken Gergle.